Tempted to Lose Weight fast…?
Advice About Fast Weight Loss and Fast Weight Gain! Diet Home – Weight Loss and Diet Tips – Best Weight Loss Forum!! – Help to Lose Weight
Healthy Weight Loss Program For REAL People – Healthy Diet Advice – Healthy Weight New Year’s Day in Hell
It was New Year’s Day in Hell and Lulu, the Devil’s mistress, was in a temper. A month ago, she had bought a pair of expensive black leather trousers and now she could hardly fit into them. So she rang Igor, the one-eyed hunchback.
“Igor, get me some diet advice. I need to lose weight, fast!”
Igor couldn’t remember anyone having a weight problem in Hell, at least not in the last 10,000 years. Starvation? Yes. That was quite normal, but overweight? Never. He hadn’t a clue where to start so he rang up his friend Doctor Death, who was in his laboratory dissecting newts.
Death knew exactly what to do.
“It’s very simple. If she wants to lose weight, she must eat less food. So put her on a diet of gruel and chopped carrot. That’ll get the weight off!”
He was right, of course. Lulu lost 7 poundsin a fortnight and her trousers fitted her perfectly. Unfortunately, she never got the chance to try them on because she developed boils. Huge, nasty, red boils! Why? Because the lack of food and nutrition in her diet had undermined her immune system leaving her wide open to infection.
Happily, she recovered. But it took weeks for her system to return to normal. What’s more, while she was bedridden with her boils, the Devil had run off with another woman. So as soon as Lulu recovered she was dragged off to eternal damnation.
Zora, the Devil’s new woman was a cool size 8, but it wasn’t long before her lifestyle as Hell’s First Lady began to make her fat. Indeed, by the time of the AIDS Celebration Ball in May, she had put on 30 pounds. So she rang Death who arrived clutching a huge book.
“Use this” he said. “It lists all foods together with their calories. Eat anything you like, as long as you limit yourself to about 1000 calories a day.”
Zora was thrilled and for 3 weeks she followed the calorie limit exactly.
She had a cup of tea for breakfast, 3 cookies mid-morning, a pastry and coleslaw for lunch and a small fry-up for tea. It wasn’t enough to satisfy her but she gritted her teeth and kept going. Result? She lost 7 pounds. But this weight-loss was strictly short-term. Why? Because she wasn’t learning new eating habits. All she was doing was adding up calories. In other words, she wasn’t retraining herself to enjoy less fattening foods. She was just eating the same old junk, albeit in smaller quantities.
The crunch came in week 4. On Monday she mislaid the calorie-book and by Tuesday she was eating junk. Result? Within a fortnight she had regained everything she’d lost. Not long afterwards Igor arrived with an axe and chopped off her head. Brutal? Perhaps. But it was Hell, after all.
So girls, if you ever end up in Hell as the Devil’s mistress and you need to lose weight, don’t bother going on a crash diet and don’t depend on counting calories. Because in my experience, neither of these methods work. The only effective way to lose weight for good is to retrain yourself to eat tasty non-fattening foods. It may take a little extra time but it works.
An easy method of doing this, is to stick to foods which are filling but low in fat, like bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, cereal, beans, vegetables, fruit and very lean meat, chicken and fish. Then you can eat awaywithout worrying too much about calories, eternal damnation or Igor the Axe Man.
ANNE COLLINS WEIGHT MANAGEMENT PROGRAM
My System | Weight Loss Diet Program | 9 Diet Programs – Try Them All! | GI Diet | Low Carb Diet | Balanced Diet
Low Calorie Booster Diet | Cholesterol-Lowering Diet | Vegetarian Diet | Support | Weight Loss Forum
Our Weight Loss Community | Weight Management Program Information For Doctors
OBESITY, OVERWEIGHT and HEALTH
Weight Loss Help | Healthy Weight Advice | Health Risks of Obesity | Body Mass Index Chart | Obesity Information
Weight & Health Risks | Ideal Weight for Women | Ideal Weight for Men | Waist Circumference | Body Fat Percent
Body Fat & Health | Body Fat Calculators | Reduce Fat Belly | Obesity & Breast Cancer | What Causes Weight Gain
Hypothyroidism | Weight Loss Plateau | Healthy Cholesterol Level | How to Lower Cholesterol | Low Cholesterol Diet
Diabetes Diet | Diabetic Diet Questions | Eating Disorders | Food Cravings | Health & Weight Benefits of Exercise
Weight Loss Tips | Best Support Group | Easy Ways to Lose Weight | Lose Last 10 Pounds | Nutrition and Pregnancy
Lose Weight After Pregnancy | Weight Loss – Pregnancy | Mid-Life Weight Gain | Weight Control in Menopause
Menopause & Diet | Weight and Depression | Teen Weight Loss & Healthy Eating | Help For Overweight Children
Child Obesity | Weight Chart For Children | Weight Loss For Men | Fast Weight Loss | Raise Metabolism
Best Exercise to Burn Calories | Exercise and Calories Burned | Diet Pills | Weight Loss Drugs to Reduce Obesity
Bariatric Surgery | Gastrointestinal Surgery | Health Dangers of Bariatric Surgery | Health Dangers of Gastric Bypass
Weight Loss Programs | Articles | Weight Loss Questions | How to Reduce Weight | Weight Loss Advice
DIETING and DIETARY ADVICE
Healthy Diet Advice | Healthy Diets For Women | Reviews of Diets | Diet News | Fad Diets | Cabbage Soup Diet
Weight Watchers Diet | Low Fat Diet | Carbs and Diet | Dr Atkins Diet | South Beach Diet | Zone | Cider Vinegar Diet
Carbs Guide | Carbs & Blood Sugar | Carbs & Insulin | Carbohydrate Needs | Glycemic Index Guide | GI Diet Method
Low GI Foods | Glycemic Load | Diets For Health | Diet & Health | Diet For High Blood Pressure | Fibromyalgia Diet
Gluten-Free Diet | Irritable Bowel (IBS) Diet | Lactose-Free Diet | Best PCOS Diet | PMS Diet | Online Diet Plans
ENERGY and NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION
Food Digestion | Calories Index | Guide to Calorie Needs | Calorie Needs for Women | Calories & Weight Loss
Burn Calories and Lose Weight | Calories Used by Exercise | Calorie Savings | Diet Nutrition | Vegetarian Nutrition
Guide to Healthy Diet | Guide to Healthy Eating | Diet Foods | Diet Fat | Good Fat | Protein in Diet | Protein Needs
Good Protein | Good Carbs | Dietary Fiber Guide | Sodium in Diet | Dietary Sugar | Water Needs Add Your Site | Site Map
© 2000-2007 Anne Collins. All rights reserved.